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Topic: New original song, Based on true events
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Posted On: Sep. 08 2004, 8:36 PM
ksdb
 

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This song was something I wrote a couple o' years ago as an unplugged voice and guitar piece. I recently decided to record it as more of a band piece. Comments and suggestions are welcome.

ksdb music page - click on "Leaving You Behind"
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Skip to the previous post in this topic. Posted On: Sep. 08 2004, 11:20 PM
MidnightToker
 

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I like the music but the vocals could be a little stronger IMO.  Also, the lyrics are alittle predictable (which doesn't necessarily make the song bad or anything but is a common problem with lyrics).
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Skip to the previous post in this topic. Posted On: Sep. 13 2004, 6:38 AM
Jeffster
 

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Yes, there is a contrast in the sparseness of the lyrics and the complexity of the music. I didn't mind the simplicity of the words, or the predictability of a rhyme or two, just that I thought it needed another verse and a strong bridge section to bring the story home. Having said that, though, I'll add that these are on par with a lot of other lyrics in hit songs, IMHO.  Certainly your instrumentation and recording techniques are excellent.  Maybe the addition of a harmony vocal in selected areas would do a lot to dress this one up better. But definitely a good one to listen to as is.
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Skip to the previous post in this topic. Posted On: Sep. 13 2004, 4:08 PM
ksdb
 

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Thanks for the comments. I've thought about harmony parts for the vocals, but haven't come up with an arrangement I like yet. A stronger vocalist could probably sell the song better, with or without harmonies, but it's still a very good suggestion. I would agree this song is sparse lyrically and I hadn't thought about an extra verse. In some ways the absence of words fits the situation I was writing about, because it concerned a family member who suddenly estranged himself without any explanation. However, if I did add an extra verse, I think I would rearrange the instrumental sections to shorten them. Other thoughts are still welcome.
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Skip to the previous post in this topic. Posted On: Sep. 14 2004, 1:58 AM
Jeffster
 

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You're right - it's best to stay within the character's POV.  So, maybe just a little more verbage on the raw emotion of it all?
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Skip to the previous post in this topic. Posted On: Sep. 15 2004, 2:04 AM
redd
 

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I think it sounds real good, KSDB. Maybe a little more emotional on the lyrics, though, but I have that problem myself. Great job......Redd
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